Fish and Chips Story — The Story of Us

Even as I take this 8 minutes to type, Alora decided she needed to climb in the pack and play and turn the music back on for baby Zoe,,, as she climbs over top of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So for some this will have a *special hidden meaning and for others it’s better left unknown. But for the rest of you, i’ve had it. I”m done. Last night at 1 am, 2 am, 3 am and 4 am I was trying to figure out if i left (and yes i mean just hopped in the car, no kids, not husband) whether i would make it further on gas or if Jason would turn off my credit cards. Jason’s response was that I had one credit card in my name, which i reminded him I don’t even think we have a card to that account and I don’t know the passcodes to get into the account anyway. By 5 am I realized that the night was almost over and I couldn’t leave under the darkness of night so i’m stuck here for another day.

Now it’s really not all that bad, but when i get emotional and it’s bad, it’s really really bad. I mean all I can ask myself is “Is this the life I signed up for?”. I’ve decided i’ve tried this life out and I don’t like it so much so i want a new one, with NO KIDS! 🙂

So not that anyone ever said motherhood was easy, but come on some one cut me some slack.

#1 Exhausted, yup that’s right no sleep and two girls. I’m wiped out or Pooped as you might say.

#2 Well, number 2 does say it quite well. You just can never be quite sure when that diaper is done filling up  and if you open it at the wrong time, watch out it’s MOUNT POOPEREST!

#3 My oldest daughter has decided that playing in POO is FUN! Yes I know this has happened to every mom, but it still doesn’t make it any easier when it’s your turn to deal with it. I mean I may not mind the wall art soo much if it wasn’t for the smell and you know the unsanitary issue. (oh and that has happened twice, time for mommy to start hyper drive on potty training)

So that’s it folks,,,, I”M POOPED

Well It all started at Nana’s house. Nana always puts lotion on, no matter what. So Alora decided that while she was staying with Nana that she too must have lotion on, no matter what. While at Nana’s, and supposedly taking a nap, Alora found the desitin bottle and proceeded to decorate herself, the carpet (when of course it wouldn’t come off her fingers) and anything else in the room the “lotion” would help. That was Incident number 1.

Incident number 2 happened 2 days after Alora got back home from Nana’s house. Jason and I were upstairs occupied with something. When I heard Jason go downstairs and say “What Have you DONE?” As I come galloping down the stairs to see Alora’s hands smothered in Desitin and her toes and feet pearly white (I did not get to see her legs but apparently that’s where the brunt of it was). Also the carpet and couch received it’s fair share of the lovely white goop. So dad washed up Alora and I scrubbed down the furniture and carpet. We moved the Desitins. One went in the laundry room up and away and the other one went on top of the tallest dresser in the girls room. Out of reach, right?

Incident number 3, yesterday was not that bad of a day as far as being day number 2 home alone with the two girls with only 14 days of recovery time from giving birth. I was excited. Ok, maybe not that, worn out and hopeful that I could survive until Jason got home. I put Alora down for a nap and heard her rummaging around, I didn’t have the energy to reprimand her so i decided to give her 20 minutes to unwind herself. After about 20 minutes all is quite, except for this weird sound that kept randomly occuring. So i crept upstairs and opened the door to see my angel curled up with her back to me and discovered the sound to be her fiercely sucking her thumb. As I surveyed the room I realized it smelled very “fresh”, which when you have a diaper pail in a nursery, it never smells “fresh”. So in more detail i realize i see little white streaks on the carpet. But when I look to see the Desitin it’s still on the tippy top of the dresser in the same spot. Well she was sleeping so soundly it wasn’t worth disturbing the peace. I came downstairs proud of the mom I had become, that I wasn’t aggressive and upset, but passive and realize it will clean just as easy in an hour as right now. Until I read the other bottle of Desitin down in the laundry room and realized it said if swallowed call Poison Control immediately. So I shot back upstairs (after reasoning with my husband on the phone first) and crept into her room to check her mouth and face. It all seemed clear. So once nap was over Alora and I spent an hour cleaning the mess in her room and taking her pants to be washed, since she did “only need lotion for my legs mommy.” But for those of you who are curious, it does come out of clothes quite easily with no stains and my daughter has the smoothest legs in the 49 contigent states.

I’d like to say that was the end of the day but much to my chagrin, NO. Alora is enrolled in an indoor play gym which she and I both love. But because of it she has great gymnastic feats, no fear and loves to climb. So when Jason and I put her to bed last night she was climbing everywhere! We moved some furniture in the room in hopes that that would end the “monkeying around.” Unfortunately no. Minutes later we hear a loud crash and screams of pain. Jason and I dart upstairs to see the tall dresser (Yes remember the one with the Desitin on top of it) laying on top of Alora’s bed and Alora with all of the drawers out and things on top shattered. Once we did damage control and put the furniture back and Alora at peace we saw the humdinger of a cut and black eye.  My dad said ” Well she’s two and half and hasn’t had stitches yet!” And that ends day 2!

So for the tally on the second day home alone with the girls: 4 episodes of mommy crying, a couple o spanks, lots of talking to, one empty Desitin tube, 2 broken Precious Moments and a deep scratch right outside Alora’s eye.

So in doing everything for baby Zoe I realized I needed to share the little things of Alora too before mommy brain takes over and I forget.

One of Alora’s ever so popular response to “How are YOU?” is “2”. For some reason no matter how many times we tell her people are saying how are you, not how old are you it doesn’t quite sink in. So her little lovely quirk will forever be “2”.

Now on to Yesterday: the first day home alone with the 2 girls: The beginning of the day was not too bad. Alora actually took a nap. Of course I didn’t get one because the one time of day Zoe decided to be up was at the exact same time Alora slept. We then had a dr.’s appt. for Alora’s cough, to which the dr. said “it’s spring.” As if i couldn’t have figured that out without a phd. So she’s fine and just has a cough along with the rest of the family. Then we get home and Alora decides to run into the street, at a speed in which i can’t catch her. Then when we get inside and Zoe is crying from hunger, I’m fixing a bottle and I hear a pounding downstairs, to which I want to check on, but the phone rings and it’s the insurance company saying we owe $200 because they won’t pay to this particular company. AGHHHHH! So i take the information with a screaming child in one arm, a microwave going off, and a pounding downstairs. Once i get downstairs I discover the sound of the pounding. BLUE CRAYON on the WHITE OFFICE WALLS! The art is beautiful!

I am now realizing I am not cut out for being a mommy of two and my two year old is deaf, well not really just to the sound of my voice apparently. A few other things happened but none quite as tragic.

So for the tally of the first day at home with the girls: 6 times crying from mom, a bunch more yelling, and more spanks than I want to admit.

Zoe Abrielle has arrived. She weighed in at 8lb 11.5 oz and 20.5 in. She was born on April 29th at 7:22am.